The Coach Approach with Diane Ravenscroft

You're listening to the coach approach
with Diane Ravenscroft, whether

you're an entrepreneur, an ambitious
employee or someone interested

in getting the most out of every
connection, responsive communication is.

Join management and
learning specialist, Dr.

Diane Ravenscroft, as she gives
you the tools to improve any

relationship that matters to your
business, your career and your life.

All right.

Here's Diane.

I am Diane Ravenscroft and you are
listening to the coach approach podcast.

The coach approach is a mindset and a
skill set with steps to achieve, avoid and

celebrate along the way towards responsive
leadership and improved relationships.

Today, I will share stories about real
people who did and did not recognize

the importance of words to lead, engage,
inspire, and motivate their teams.

I have attended so many meetings
with different kinds of leaders and

individuals that I can now offer the coach
approach podcasts to provide listeners

opportunities, to learn and grow through
other people's stories, other people's

decisions, other people's mistakes,
missed opportunities and success.

These podcasts offer moments to
consider other people's perspectives

and explore our thinking about
leadership and communication.

Working in the field of organizational
psychology has created numerous

opportunities for me to observe
research and see patterns in attitudes,

aptitudes, and behaviors, especially
communication and leadership styles.

After 20 years, enough time has
passed that I get to write and share

about situations and scenarios.

You can benefit from my experiences,
my expertise, and the lessons learned

from numerous hardworking people wanting
to contribute in their workplaces.

I can tell these stories so that
nobody can detect a person or place.

And in the absence of non-disclosure
agreements, I am free to focus

on describing the effectiveness
of the coach approach from real

situations with great people.

Of course, I'll disguise identities.

At times I may single out certain
professions that tend to attract people

with fixed attitudes, like optimism
and pessimism, for example, but I will

do my best not to generalize today.

I will introduce you to a
techie and a few engineers.

The cybersecurity leader referred
to himself as having entered his

profession as an optimistic techie.

He explained that after several years in
his new leadership role, he had developed

a mindset grounded in hyper vigilance.

I asked how he would define this state.

He told me to picture a boxing ring
and one boxer dodging hedging and

ducking while the other boxer was
incessantly pounding away at his head.

He felt he didn't relate to some of his
employees, the dreamers, he called them.

He needed dreamers to innovate
and develop new products.

And it was part of his role as chief
technology officer to inspire the team

by leading weekly meetings and hearing
from everyone, the optimistic techie.

Remember, that's how he
described himself, explained his

perspective and feelings this way.

Quote.

Remember, I ask people if I can write
down what they say, when it's striking

quote, imagine needing to create lofty
goals, to inspire collaboration around

division and strategy two hours a week.

When most of your day, every day is
about avoiding the potential next bad

virus waiting to attack your network.

He continued, I feel like a
superhero most of the time, and

my people are my superpowers.

We're protecting people from the
harm, bad actors wanna inflict

on our systems and organization.

And we need to find new ways to keep
our customers safe all the time.

I need to figure out a way to
call back the dreamer in me.

He said that was first drawn to it.

Then I might be able to relate
to my team again, end quote,

and you know who you are.

I hope I did your statements justice,
as I repeated your powerful words.

These very challenges stated succinctly by
this chief technology officer are exactly

why the coach approach is relevant.

The coach approach is ultimately
about transformational communication.

This leader had all the elements
of an inspirational speaker.

And I told him this yet, he lacked
the ability to see his talents

and natural aptitude to encourage
based on feeling pretty burned out.

A lot of the time he was
burdened, he was bogged down.

He felt buried under the
weight of the responsibility.

The key was that he believed
his people were his superpowers.

Did you notice that with this
genuine appreciation for his team

expressing his gratitude for their
diligence in descriptive ways became

his weekly meeting, starting point.

He started to learn the shift to seek
higher ideals and fix his thinking.

Week after week, he built trust
and camaraderie by going around

the table, pointing out how
each person made a difference.

He pointed out the ways they handled
real situations with finesse.

He also started collecting anonymous
comments left in the break room

and read emails from customers and
coworkers out loud in the meetings.

These became talking points that
were used to troubleshoot challenges

and think of new ways to tackle
incoming, known, and unknown threats.

You have to anticipate unknowns in
his and other businesses slowly.

It became natural to rise above the
daily grind to notice the small ways

people were making a big difference.

Someone came up with the idea of
creating a banner, having t-shirt.

And using the phrase.

Thank you for all the ways you
are making a big difference.

Initially, it was thank you for
all the small ways you were making

a big difference, but this leader
didn't want to sound like he was

undermining or minimizing effort.

What was crucial for morale that I took a
note of was that any total money spent on

these trinkets, he called them like the
t-shirts was also given as a bonus or by

choice matched as a donation to charity.

Whatever the employee preferred, not a
single t-shirt, but the entire spend.

So if the total of their
motivational items was, let's say

$900 each person received or could
donate all or some of $2,700.

How did I jump from nine to 2,700 while
the leader wanted to convey that each

person's contribution was worth not one
or two, but three times the investment

not only was recognition now, a priority,
but rewards, including financial rewards,

the optics of spending money on stuff.

When people could use a financial reward
was not lost on this leader, he became

sensitive and attuned to what mattered
most to his people because he asked them.

Affirmation is transformational
awareness is transformational.

If using affirmation and
descriptive praise is your norm.

You know what I mean?

If people trust you and believe
you, you will have a tremendous

impact with your descriptive praise.

If you're uncertain, whether
people will trust and believe

you, the coach approaches for you.

Descriptive praise is powerful as
it is an opportunity to teach what

was done well, and also create a
conversation that feels affirming.

It's a learned skill, and of course
is a significant aspect of the coach

approach through praise stated sincere.

The chief technology officers
team was becoming more receptive

to feedback and less resistant to
correction through affirmation.

People still needed instructed and
guided of course, but with the momentum

building through loyalty and trust,
people were becoming more willing to

share their biggest challenges without
fear of repercussions or criticism,

the gotcha factor disappeared.

They added business continuity strategies
to their product lines and services.

And even turnover was reduced.

The business expanded its market share
and was poised to scale their services.

The leadership team adopted
the descriptive praise

approach with their teams.

And as far as everyone is concerned, the
company is set up for future success.

You can measure these things
and I can show you how.

Remember, this individual's significant
change that he wondered if it would

be small, that felt daunting at the
time, the superhero who didn't relate

to dreamers, he wanted to find ways to
understand and connect with his dreamers.

He did it, they did it finding
opportunities to connect in meaningful

ways, spread thoughtfulness and
innovation through the entire company.

To me.

This is both inspirational and
transformational, attentive,

supportive leaders who affirm
and cheer us on are quite rare.

If you work for somebody who looks
for opportunities to be descriptive in

their praise, you are very fortunate.

I hope you know that this cautious
it leader was a breath of fresh air.

He was ready to explore the
traits, steps and challenges

required of the coach approach.

One of the first lessons of
transformational communication is the

awareness that people come to work
for the most part, wired a certain

way as they tackle challenges and
opportunities to yield results.

If you work for someone wired
to acknowledge your strengths,

you might not be able to imagine
reporting to someone who views your

aspirational outlook as an impediment.

I've seen this all or nothing mindset
discourage the most resilient person.

The first time I met someone who viewed
an aspirational outlook as an impediment,

I had to ask them to repeat themselves.

I literally remember losing my
composure and saying, what did you say?

Normally, as a coach,
you stay fairly composed.

There are guidelines through the
international coaching Federation.

There are ethical
guidelines and competencies.

And I remember the day a leader
said to me that these people were

toxically positive and he viewed their
aspirational outlook as an impediment.

And I said, what did you say as opposed
to, could you explain that for me please?

Or something with more poise?

As I said, I've seen this all
or nothing mindset discourage

the most resilient person.

As I introduce my coach
approach through these podcasts.

I want to emphasize that this model
of communication and leadership isn't

focused on trying to change attitudes,
though, I will discuss attitude.

How could I not attitude can
often be permanent though.

And set early in life.

Attitude is often expressed as glass,
half full thinking, the optimist

and glass half empty thinking.

The pessimist, the coach approach
instead is about improving aptitude.

Aptitude is about our capacity to learn.

Aptitude is changeable.

And as my French speaking, clients
would say, aptitude is malleable.

Love that word malleable.

When you, when you say
malleable, hold your hands.

As if you're sculpting with
clay and you get the idea of how

aptitude can expand, one's thinking
to create endless possibilities.

A change in aptitude can
produce a change in results.

An aptitude for lifelong learning
offers potential to stay curious and

never stop learning, to challenge
ourselves an aptitude to resistance.

On the other hand, and reluctance
offers skepticism and hesitation

hesitation to try new ways to
relate or connect with people.

Aptitude, like attitude can
go one way or the other.

When we tackle improving aptitude
attitude may just change.

The coach approach focuses
on what's possible.

Excellent.

And uniquely an idea you may not
have heard before my excellence

of avoidance exception.

Yes.

Excellence of avoidance,
this new kind of excellence.

I'll say it again.

Excellence through avoidance is also
a key part of my coach approach.

When an exception is in place for
how to describe a typical vision.

I emphasize the importance of
achievement and aspirational statements,

these motivate and build trust.

But many years ago, I met people whose
mission is to prevent and protect like

the chief technology officer we just met.

So I introduce you to a realistic
engineer, his words so far,

you've met an optimistic techie.

Now meet a realistic engineer.

This leader's main job in a utility
company is not to poison people.

Remember he described himself as a
realist and works basically with water.

So his main job is to not
poison people plain and simple.

That's what he told me.

I was invited to present
management training.

So I asked for the mission
statement in advance to prepare

and customize the learning program.

Remember the days when not everybody had
a website, it's really not that long.

The president of the utility company
shared the formal mission that

the public sees on their materials
then quietly told me that the real

mission is not to poison people.

This is excellence through
avoidance, for sure.

A vision stated in negative terms
under any other circumstances might not

seem aspirational, but as the provider
of clean water, I remain in complete

agreement that not poisoning people is a
wonderful vision to achieve and maintain.

Like other engineers who don't want
bridges to collapse or surgeons

who don't want anyone to die on
their operating table, excellence

through avoidance is important.

So the next time you hear a vision
stated in the negative, don't

write people off as negative great
people demonstrating resilience

like law enforcement professionals
need to be careful out there.

Just like that statement on
hill street, blues, that old.

TV sitcom.

We can be careful out there and
do our best by avoiding danger,

the coach approach mindset.

Doesn't judge the person for the words
they use to express their purpose

engineers in particular, look out for
safety and yes, that can sound negative.

The coach approach exists to
make sure if the way you describe

your words sounds negative.

People don't perceive you as such.

It can be subtle.

So here's some examples.

A passionate leader said, quote, I'm going
to show you how broken our system is.

End quote.

I'm going to show you how
broken our system is, depending

on who is in the room.

This leader committed to exactness and
precision may be appreciated for their

attention to detail and directness.

I am gonna show you how
broken our system is.

Now, put this person with individuals
more focused on harmony and wellbeing.

And listen again, I am going to
show you how broken our system is.

How do you perceive this person?

They came with solutions, but how do you
perceive them learning to be measured

in our communication is an important
skill and ties closely to motivation

ties to stamina and overall wellbeing.

The coach approach is a means
towards learning transformational

communication, and also not
writing people off for sounding

thorough or being problem solvers.

If I have a broken system, I want
somebody to show me how broken my system

is and bring me the solutions to fix it.

As we adjust to our
listener, we might ask.

In an organization that focuses,
let's say on harmony and wellbeing,

we might ask, is this correct?

Instead of declaring
outright, this is a mistake.

I have been in meetings where harmony
and wellbeing is part of the culture.

Very high up on the culture.

People seek meaningful work, but things
go wrong in any organization in any team.

The person who came into the
meeting declaring outright.

This is a mistake who knew
that money was being lost.

Who knew that revenue was leaving.

The organization was not well
received after some coaching, the

person reapproached met with people
again and said, I have noticed some

data presented the data and asked.

Is this correct by tailoring the
message to the people and the situation.

The listeners were much more
receptive, attentive, and engaged.

She got their attention by reframing.

The words seems pretty simple.

This is a mistake as
opposed to is this correct?

One produces defensiveness, the
other cooperation and engage.

As we learn to tailor our message to
people in situations, we become more

effective and responsive as leaders
and as communicators because the

coach approach is about aptitude.

People focus on getting the most out
of every relationship, particularly

through building meaningful connections.

The individual, when
asking is this correct?

As opposed to stating this is a
mistake built, meaningful connections.

My happy place is facilitating these
kinds of situations that have a positive

impact, a transformational impact.

In fact, and I have been fortunate
to do this work through teaching

coaching curriculum, design and
consulting for more than two decades.

I have coached entrepreneurs
and sales people as well as

engineers and compliance officers.

Most often in finance, manufacturing,
technology, and insurance,

what has remained consistent?

No matter the situation or context is
that most entrepreneurs and sales people

are wired, possibly hardwired more
towards accomplishment, achievement.

And what's possible that may not
surprise you didn't surprise me yet.

What did surprise me is this thinking
can present a challenge for any go

getter who as an optimist at heart
is possibly viewed as an obstacle.

To people wire differently towards
caution hesitation or hypervigilance.

Some of my cautious clients tell me
optimist sound, toxically, positive.

They sound unrealistic and full of.

Let's say hot air.

I can understand that.

See how easy it is to judge the person
by their words, if this happens.

And I think it does, it's even more
important to consider the what,

when, how and why of what we say.

I know it's easier said than done.

I know that's probably a pun, but it's
true because in the high pace demanding

environments where my clients work, one of
my roles is to remind leaders, to remember

the people amid the focus on products
and processes, especially in engineering

environments, manufacturing and finance
process gets a lot of attention.

It's easy for the needs of
people to disappear when products

and process needs attention.

The more intense, the demands of process
improvement and product development.

The more likely people's
needs become ignored.

The coach approach helps break down
all or nothing thinking to expose

and explore scarcity mindset.

A scarcity mindset will discourage
demotivate or even demoralize

the people wired to hope, help
and achieve in every workplace.

We know there's a culture.

Some people set a tone of a sense of
urgency, which can create all kinds of

situations that inspire or inflame people.

Some people love a sense of urgency,
keeps them moving, keeps them going,

gives the momentum and traction.

Other people sense of urgency
creates panic and uncertainty and

feels very demanding and oppressive.

Many workplaces are seeking to create
communities where everyone is welcome

and feels a sense of belonging.

I don't know what you would describe
your workplace as, I don't know how

you would describe your culture,
but every workplace has one.

As a coach, I invite people
to ask more of themselves.

I also recognize and relate to how
difficult it may be for leaders to

shift their mindset, to relate to
and connect with everyone they serve.

Observant leaders recognize that
morale suffers when the pressures

of work are allowed to foster a
negative culture, observant leaders

recognize that morale suffers.

When the pressures of work are allowed
to foster a negative culture, feeling

overwhelmed can start to override
a person's capacity to think big.

I have been there.

I'm guessing you have.

The chief technology officer and
engineers learned how to share concerns

and potential in a way that conveyed
assurance trust and support these learned

skills, prevent a scarcity mindset.

Should a scarcity mindset.

Start to creep into thinking over
time, a negative outlook, blurs,

potential and possibilities.

Fade away.

I speak from experience.

Don't allow, please a scarcity mindset
to creep into thinking, because

over time, a negative outlook will
blur potential and possibilities

will fade away in stark contrast.

Children are curious and have a
tremendous capacity for imagination.

You often hear visionaries speak
about the importance of innovation.

I think innovation is simply
imagination paired with new ways of

creating something out of nothing.

I want to make an impact by bringing
back curiosity, imagination,

inspiration, and motivation to work.

Let's be HAPPI again.

Let's be happier again.

Let's enjoy our work
more to be competitive.

We must have stamina.

And if you love what you do with people
who share the same commitment and passion.

We will enjoy our work again.

What is that phrase?

If you love what you do, you'd do
it for nothing, something like that.

So let's make it happen.

That's one of the goals of the
coach approach working together and

enjoying the work in each other.

It's possible.

I've seen it.

Next time we meet, I will share more
stories and anecdotes based on real

people applying the coach approach.

I am Diane.

Ravenscroft see you next time.

Thanks for listening.